3G. What a waste of time. Why is it so bad?

The 3G network was rolled out in the UK around 2002. Under great fanfare it promised truly mobile computing and internet access.

Touted as being able to provide download speeds of 14.4 megabits per second and upload speeds of 5.8 megabits per second, we’re told that the minimum speed for a stationary user is 2 megabits per second. And anyone connecting in a moving vehicle can expect 348 kilobits per second.

But what is the reality? Well, I am on the O2 network and I live in central London. I work in Soho. As I live in London, I have the arrogance to expect that if anything is going to work anywhere it’s in the capital of the UK and one of the most densely populated, richest cities on the planet. And when it doesn’t work I get pretty irritated. Because I know it won’t work anywhere and that people are lying to me!

And let me tell you, 3G just doesn’t work the way it supposed to. I have an iphone 3GS 32GB. (See what I did there). Standing in Soho the other day, a friendly foreign stranger asked me how to get to Duck Lane. I know Soho pretty well. But I don’t know every road. I wasn’t sure. And so, living in the 21st Century, and wanting to help our lost tourist, I whipped out my iphone. ‘Hang on’ I told him, ‘I’ll find it for you’. He looked pleased. Probably astonished that anyone had spent more than a minute with him in London. And even more astonished when a full 2 minutes later, I still hadn’t managed to connect to the 3G network. Having full bars and the 3G signal at the top of the screen made absolutely no difference. I was rather embarrassed. ‘I’m afraid you’ll have to ask someone, I’m afraid.’ And off he went - very 20th Century...

What a joke. Returning to the office I realized that this wasn’t the first time I couldn’t connect. In fact, I realized that I had never connected to 3G network in all the time I had been in Soho. I had only ever connected to the internet with my iphone through the office Wi-Fi. And so I asked around the office. No less than 8 iphone owners in our office – we love technology here. And the story was pretty much the same. Across all networks the general consensus was, that in central London, they don’t bother accessing the 3G network. Because mostly they can’t. And if have, by the time it connected they had forgotten what they connected for!

Astonishing. Little wonder that the networks generally offer unlimited 3G internet access. It doesn’t matter if you can’t get on, does it? And all those fancy applications telling you where you can eat based on your GPS location. Waste of time. I have never used my Top Table one or Urban Spoon. I remember now that I couldn’t get a connection. I was using the network in the office.

So, what happens next? Well, the networks don’t have the infrastructure to cope with demand. They tell you that they are nearing capacity. They are lying. They have quite clearly exceeded it. Still flogging handsets though aren’t they? And making promises of improvements, investment and 4G. I won’t hold my breath. They need investigating for running a cartel. And not by the clowns at Oftel.

Connecting to the 3G network in 2010 is like connecting to the internet with a modem in 1996 - and an iffy modem at that. So my advice? It really doesn’t pay to have an iphone in central London at all. You may as well by an iPod touch for roughly 25% of the price. Pretty much the same device without the phone. Connects to Wi-Fi but not 3G. But then in London, nor does the iphone!

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